PDF I Am a Child Molester

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Making treatment available and accessible to individuals before they offend may reduce instances of child molestation. Chemical castration is one method that may keep child molesters from reoffending. Many states in the U. Some states, such as California, mandate castration for offenders with multiple convictions as a condition of release. The treatment has been shown to greatly reduce sexual desire in men who are attracted to children and to lower rates of recidivism.

Those who have not yet harmed a child and who are committed to avoiding doing so may find relief from their desires through chemical castration. Sexual desire cannot be completely eliminated by castration, a fact that leads many individuals to question the efficacy of the treatment and the risk of releasing offenders who may still experience some sexual desire for children. Another objection stems from the fact that the person undergoing treatment must be relied on to take their medication regularly.

However, chemical castration has been shown to be effective for many individuals and thus is likely to protect many children who would potentially be victims of sexual abuse. Groups can provide a safe environment to discuss inappropriate and harmful urges, and the support of a group of individuals facing similar challenges may give some people the strength to avoid offending or reoffending. However, when someone is involuntarily enrolled into group therapy and has no particular desire to stop offending, a support group can become a different environment. But because mandated group therapy may be of benefit to some convicted offenders or those who are at risk for offending, group leaders may not wish to withhold a potentially helpful treatment from anyone.

They may, however, choose to carefully screen participants prior to program entry and during treatment.

The Child Molester (1964) - DISTURBING BREAKDOWN

Sex offenders may use aversion therapy to attempt to eliminate their attractions to children. While this therapy can be effective, it often poses ethical problems, as therapists cannot shock their patients. It likely will not help people develop an attraction to age-appropriate adults if they do not already experience such an attraction. Psychologists have still not reached an agreement about whether pedophilia is a sexual orientation or a mental illness. However, other therapists point to studies demonstrating the effect pornography can have on sexual desire and express concern that such pornography may actually create or increase a desire to sexually abuse children.

Many also question the ethics of making such pornography, even when it does not involve actual children. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Its like a criminal right? Everybody says put him behind bars but nobody wants to know why the crime occurred or what the problem was. If we are able to investigate and derive something from this I am sure it will have much better results than any stringent punishment ever can.

How could you ever be sure that they are not gonna turn on your kid and harm them? You do the crime, you do the time, and that needs to be times for anyone who thinks its ok to hurt a child. T nugget, I agree with you that the U. I feel sometimes that the U. I have seen more than enough videos, read plenty of documents to understand and come to the conclusion, that our Judicial system is a systematic nightmare. Our Judicial system seems to be designed to keep you emotionally disconnected from everything and everyone, except other criminals!!!

Our Judicial system is a terrifying unfunny joke! The Justice and Health Care system go hand in hand. I guess murder would be a better choice them?? I myself am a registered citizen. This happened at a university Christmas party almost 20 years ago that was for adults 21 and older only Alcohol was being served. Im not condoning what I did, Im just saying that people need to know the facts of every case instead of drawing a broad brush like the government wants you to.

Its all abnout money. That was almost 20 years ago. Just think what that amount might be today. I guarantee its alot more now….

A Child Molester In My Circle - Janet Lansbury

What I would like to know is what therapist is going to want to serve this population and how will you ever really be sure that they have been completely changed? If this is what he really is to the core then how are you ever really going to change that? If you feel that this is your calling, to rehab these sick minds, then feel free to do it.

However just know that you are doing this without the blessing and encouragement of most of the rest of the sane society members. I think that any of us with half a brain think that you should just lock them up and throw away the key. From my perspective, there are far more deserving people who could use some free therapy then these guys who use kids and then throw them away. This whole Penn State scandal has really put this issue in the limelight once again.

I am not sure how I feel about whether or not they can get treatment and benefit from that, in that they will never harm a child again. But I think that for most of us who can in no way ever understand or condone this behavior it is so hard to rationalize even trying this. As a child who was abused by my uncle, I feel so torn because there is a part of me that really does not care at all what happens to him. It feels weird to even say that, and I am not sure that I have ever told anyone that before. But what can I do? I have to accept that this happened to me, work through my own demons and move on.

I used to wish he would be raped by the people in prison. So he knew how I felt. God is the only one that can really see how his heart is. Like when he gets out of prison. But after really thinking about it, he should be the one doing all the worrying. He should have thought of that before he did that to me. So why let that kind of responsibility with me?

I do feel bad how he is gonna have a really hard time to get back to this world after prison. He still tries to wanna be in our lives! What about me?!! Why be so selfish? We are only as strong as our weakest link. What we do to the least of our brother we do to ourselves. Get it? No, ok let me explain this way: The way we treat others has a direct link on the kinds of energy that we as a collective society create. When you treat the underlying cause in individual as well as society, you treat the whole. And that is why anger wont fix any kind of evil. Only love with wise actions behind it will do anything of value.

And that is why more must be done to solve the problem rather than add to it. Yes its a bit different isnt it…we say that peodophiles shouldnt be near children.. Yet again we allow bank robbers to vist banks????? Is it stupid? How is it different from a man raping a woman, or abusing the elderly? The only difference is in how one perceives it. I would think twice before saying anyone is stupid for their views.

I understand being repulsed by the idea of someone committing such an act. But pedophiles are people too. Granted, very sick people. But people just the same. Having been abused as a child myself, I think my striving to forgive my abuser carries a little weight. This has given me hope. My son was molested by my brother, and no one believed me. All I could do was keep him away.

Now he is back in my son life thank to my mother how gave my son number to him. I have been told that I have not got proof of anything, again. But in my heart I know what with all the grooming and manipulation that my brother has done. But I need to know there is hope because was I can brake the bond that my brother has with my son.

My son will need all the help he can get. We must focus on the children to hell with the abusers. Yes, I ruined a life by molesting a young teen. I blame no one else for my act. And when I came to realize what I had done I wanted to take my life. But that was too easy. Twenty years later I am an advocate for the abused. And while I avoid all the things that led to my moral collapse, I believe it is like alcohol addiction. One slip and I could descend again. I would take my life before I ruined another.

So I guess I am not cured. But I lost my family, my friends, my self respect, and carry around the knowledge of what I did. Life has never be the same. The story of what I did has been ballooned. Things I never did… its still no excuse. I did not deserve a second chance but I got one, and I am not going to blow it. You should be in prison for the rest of your life. My mom never let me write to him he has no idea how I look…I just got in contact with his mom my grandma that lives in a diff state she is really nice n cool…. I know this is an old post but…. Like they picked HIM over me!

He was never a good father! Even if he never abused me, he was still a bad father with a bad temper! A bad father! A bad husband!! He failed us! Im 27, and literally he took my whole childhood away. During all that time, he failed as a husband to take care of the family. For me, he should of worried about us before he did the stuff to me like that. He has been locked up since I was I think he gets out next year. All criminality originates from sex.

Every human beimg is capable of doing one abominable act or the other,but for the fear of God,or man or both.

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We are all living under intense self control and should look with pity towards convicts as those who failed to control themselves. I am better than you attitudes,expressions and purnishments towards criminals,only breed new ones. Yes I agree that criminals must pay. But it all depends on what man calls a crime. So was sodomy,now made legal. My advice is that all sexual acts should be monitored,guided and tutored. Just like sex education in schools have succeeded immensely to curb teen pregnancies.

I tell you,because this is the begining of all crimes and is treated well,we might just have discovered a great way of curbing crimes,make society safer and living on this planet most blissful. What has happend to our is children is hurtful and tragic. Does anyone know or understand that there are all kinds of illness.

Remember satan is the cause o sickness and death God is our father of love this world is in this condition because lack of love. The molester himself is in pain and is suffering because of some form of abuse that has happend to him maybe at a young age where is his help. If you would have asked me what I thought about a pedophile or a child molester about a month ago I would have told you a black and white answer. No one should harm a child or create a market for child pornography.

Ask me today and I answer is now filled with a million shades of gray. I found out my husband after 10 years of marriage was involved in this very situation. The criminal has a real face. A personality. We met when we were 15…both worked at a grocery store.. Nervous about girls and we literally hung out for years before either one of us made a move.

I joined the military and he supported me every step of the way. Called me often and sent me care packages. We cited over the phone While I was trapped in Germany for xmas and he divulged things to me that happened to him as a child molested by his sister and his father …While I am still incredibly mortified by everything….

I believe that it is a combination of nature and nurture…I believe that he is very scared of spending the rest of his life and prison and scared that this will define him the rest of his life…it probably will. I will however visit him and seek rehab for him and a psychologist. Now more than ever he needs help and support. Thewife… Is there life after prison? With this kind of record it is very difficult and almost impossible for these people to get jobs when they get out.

I was like you and used to think these people should be in jail for the rest of their lives but now I am not so sure.

  • Maroon.
  • Breath of Poetry?
  • Lutz und Knut: Stefanie Kreisel (German Edition).

Most of these people have mental disorders and let me tell you prison is NOT the answer! The abuse they suffer is.. The whole system is very sad. The prison system is awful! It is proven fact that child molesters and pedophiles can not be rehabilitated!!! Stop wasting time and money on jail sentencing!! I also think his enthusiasm about her nakedness when she bathes, for example is inappropriate.

What should I do, what do you think? I would never ever leave your child alone with this man. Zulejka, you most definitely do not ever leave your little girl in the room with this man by herself. You watch every move he makes and if you need to pop out to another room for a minute, your daughter goes with you. You need to absolutely trust the little gut feeling you have that says something is not right. Your gut feeling is all you need to have to be vigilant about protecting your daughter. You are not being paranoid.

I think in the story in the blog here, the parent would have had a better chance to protect the child if the chiropractor had exhibited some of these signs. There are many molesters who do not exhibit these at all. When they DO, get away as fast as you can! Just total kindness! Go with your gut. I truly believe that God gave women that intuition.

The fact that he does it in plain sight does not make it less likely that he is a child molester. It is an intentional strategy to desensitize you and to make your daughter think that his touches and games are okay with you, because he has done it in your sight. Trust your gut. I think this man is attempting to normalise his own behaviour by reflecting it in your presence; it sounds sinister to me and I would be vigilant. Do not leave your little girl with him. I do think that you are misreading anything.

Trust your instinct. The behavior sounds like grooming. Totally agree! I do not understand why people allow any other person under the sun to bath their kids!!!! Total madness. My mom and husband may do it under my direct supervision. The rest of the world under no circumstances at all. This could be a way someone grooms a person to see if they can get away with something. I would clearly tell him when things are inappropriate, every single time.

Better to be safe than sorry. This is your child.

His behavior is not normal. Please trust your instincts! Zulejka, I must agree with Lisa. Trust that gut feeling, shiver that your body is not liking. That is higher wisdom. Furthermore, the blog does mention, that molesters groom parents and communities…. But that gut feeling can not be ignored.

Your responsibility is with your daughter. Do not for one second worry about offending him, hurting his feelings. Trust you and protect your little girl. I rather be rude and take my child away than to trust and the unspeakable happens. If you feel there is something inappropriate going on there very well could be! Even if this man never does or even thinks about harming your child or any other, he may be struggling with a very bad porn addiction and one never knows what that could lead him to do.

Molesters groom the family as well. They desensitise you to touching their children. I would trust your gut. Also, use this as an opportunity to demonstrate good behaviour to your child. If you feel uncomfortable with this man tickling your child, call him out on it. Be brave and be a voice for your child.

I think he is a molester. His behavior normalizes his inappropriate attentions and vets you for your willingness to enable it. Call him out.

I am worried that my child is molesting other kids.

Tell him you are uncomfortable, with specific examples. He might try to gaslight you. Then he will fade away. Share your concerns with others. THIS is how abuse happens. Yes trying to desensitize you, groom your child, push boundaries and see how far he can take it. Please trust yogurt and absolutely never leave your baby alone with this man and warn others.

Dont let anyone try to make you feel bad doubt you. Better to offend him and be wrong than have your child be a victim. Has your child exhibited any abnormal behaviour? Also, never make your child hug, sit on laps or touch anyone. Dont worry about offending family or anyone. Your child needs to know good touch and bad touch, and that bad touches can feel good sometimes but they are still bad touches. This behavior this man has is screaming a HUGE red flag.

Please listen to your gut…it will never steer you wrong. Trust your instincts. Thats how predators groom, preparing conditions for the abuse to happen and to continue unchallenged. Please listen to your gut! If you need to ask or question, you already know the answer. The relative who abused me also touched me in plain sight. That was his alibi! If you feel bad, it is bad. She described to me the exact same reasoning she tried to convince herself of you were describing. Please err on the side of caution.

Better safe than sorry. Trust yourself mama — something is not right! This is exactly how things can start. My uncle started with me with those exact behaviors. I remember him changing my diaper. The nature of his interactions with me progressed from diaper changing and tickling to bath time and nighttime visits when I stayed over with my cousins. I was too afraid to tell anyone. Be careful! Most tend to start doing things just like that in plain sight for the soul purpose of grooming!! Therefor, make up any excuse you have to to have him out of hour childs life, or at least no longer allowed to touch her.

Does not take much time at all to perpetrate, and whose going to believe its possible in public or with a parent present! His mother had no idea. One thing this man did often when the three were together, was tickle him. He tickled him in public, in front of others, and his mother thought it was sweet. He says he couldnt help but laugh when tickled, but he wished his mother could have seen through it. You need to listen to your gut. Dont question it, dont feel bad about your instinks and dont make apoligies for it. Get him away from your family and know you are protecting your child.

Talk to your child and stay strong in knowing your child looks to you for safty. By then she will have had many bad thoughts about herself and those thoughts will only lead to more problems. Dont worry about being over protective OR over reacting. Think of your child first. I know everyone has replied, however, I feel compelled to tell you my story now that I have a daughter…a very respectable family man who would go above and beyond to do wonderful things for his wife and two toddlers would do this exact behavior. I feel so guilty after we found out he was molesting my sisters 3 year old stepdaughter, he was best friends with my sisters husband.

Please protect your child. We are their voice in situations like this. Do not just write this off as a paranoid mom moment. A friend sent me to your post and I just want to say that I get this, on a deeper level even. Recently, my father was arrested with child pornography, and lots of it. I am having a super hard time reconciling everything.

I feel all the things you described, and more. This is my DAD. The dad I looked up to for advice almost daily in my adult life, the dad that took me camping every summer and to the movies almost every Saturday when I was kid. The dad who introduced me to humor and sarcasm. The dad who was always the life of the party at family gatherings. And now he is somebody else entirely. But, who? My instinct is to move across the country and never speak to him again, and it cleaves my heart to know that I will never look at him the same—at holidays the same; life in general really.

Also, pedophiles cannot be helped. It is a sexual preference. Implying that there could ever be a way to get rid of the urge implies that I could get therapy to make me no longer attracted to men. You can be educated and trained NOT to abuse or manipulate others for your own gratification. Paedophiles no different — just fewer options for them to turn to if they wanted to.

Not all people who are sexually attracted to children will molest or harm them. You are so wrong on this! It is NOT merely separating attraction from action and behavior. Sorry you are going through this Bridget. I can only imagine your heartache. I hope you find peace with it.

Thanks for sharing, these stories are opening eyes in an important way.

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I believe the opposite Kimberle. They cant help their attraction, or desire, they CAN help their actions, they can take themselves out of situations that are uncomfortable, they can decide never ever to act upon their compulsions, and to seek therapy if they are feeling out of control of their actions before anyone is harmed. For example- I have a sexual preference toward my husband, but i would never act upon that desire unless it was a situation that was mutual with enthusiastic informed consent. If my husband was unable to give consent at any point, I would not act upon any sexual feelings I was having.

It is such a double life. I am not sure that the pedophile ever inhabits both lives at once. The person who abused that I know had such a disconnect to function. That is what is so uncomfortable for people with integrated lives… how does one DO that? After suffering from fondling by adults in my te enage years. I started talking to my daughter when she 2 or 3.

I never trusted any male around her. I will be reading it to my future grand children. Thank you so much for writing about this. The more people share their stories, the more we will have an educated public. This has to become a topic that adults and children are comfortable openly talking about and being aware of.

Highly recommended. Zulejka, even though everyone else has said it I am going to add. Growing up there were people around us whom my parents trusted. The last time my pregnant mother begged the dean to readmit my father, who then spent all his time flirting with other women in the school cafeteria when he should have been in class.

Needless to say, he failed again. I brought home rocks and he would explain that the clear bits were actually quartz and not diamonds, that the "gold" I had found was actually granite and would not make us rich. He showed me how to make a computer program that would do my times tables.

When I couldn't sleep, he would sit me down beside him, pull out the atlas and show me how the frontlines of the Great War had cut through France and Belgium. Or we would pore over pictures of the universe as he tried to explain the theory of the Big Bang. When I was 11, Dad announced that he had a stomach ache and was going away for a while. He moved into my grandad's house and we saw him at weekends. After a few weeks, he moved in with his girlfriend and two of her children.

Despite how she felt about him, my mother was determined that he should continue to have a relationship with my sisters and me. She arranged for us to spend weekends with him and his new "family". But he never called me, never initiated any conversation, and though my mother insisted he loved me, I knew he didn't love me enough. I stopped spending weekends with him, ignored him at family functions, refused to invite him to my high school graduation. I went to university, moved far away from home, got a job, found a flat.

I met boys, fell in love, fell out of love, fell in love again. Occasionally, I wondered what I would do if I ever got married or had children. If he ever got sick or died. Sometimes I thought I would be too angry to go to his funeral; sometimes I thought I would be consumed by grief and guilt.